Paperback (St. Martin's Press, 1988)
"Brian McNaught has a special knack for enabling people to understand what it means to be gay. He has done so as a writer and lecturer since 1974, explaining, encouraging, and often healing his audiences. McNaught provides a look - sometimes humorous, always insightful - at such concerns as whether or not to 'come out', maintaining ties with one's family, building love relationships that last, developing an honest relationship with God, dealing with AIDS, and accepting oneself as decent and worthy of respect."– (From the Book Cover)
What people are saying:
"Please read this book...Every reader, whatever his or her sexual orientation, will be healed in some way by this experience." – Today's Parish
"There is wisdom, insight and humor within these pages. Brian McNaught has put together a collection of his writings that will both inspire you and bring a tear to your eye." – The Advocate
"On Being Gay fills an obvious need. It deserves to be read–and put into practice–by all men and women still struggling against homosexuality in themselves, their families, their friends or the same sex couple they avoid on a daily basis. – Philadelphia Inquirer
"McNaught is both disarmingly honest and gently humorous, whether castigating the hypocrisy of religious leaders and institutions or challenging the pretensions of the reigning gay orthodoxy." – Lambda Rising Book Report
A DISTURBED PEACE -
Selected Writings of an Irish Catholic Homosexual
(Sent by Dignity to every U.S. Catholic Bishop)
Published in1981 by Dignity, the national organization of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer Catholics, this book is a collection of Brian’s newspaper columns, magazine articles, and award-winning features. It was enthusiastically and warmly received by LGBTQ people, their families, and their allies as a thoughtful, powerful reflection on living as both a Catholic and a gay person. One priest from Chicago paid to have a copy sent to every American bishop. For many people, it was a much-needed bridge to span the painful chasm between faith and sexual orientation. When Dignity chose to cease its role as distributor, the booked was picked up by St. Martin’s Press, edited, added to, subtracted from, and morphed into the best-seller, On Being Gay.
Paperback (St. Martin's Press, 1997)
"For most gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, acknowledging and accepting their homosexual orientation are only the first steps in what is often a lifelong journey. They then must integrate their sexuality into the rest of their lives. This requires that they reevaluate the most basic themes of human existence: family, love, spirituality, work, and community. In a series of personal essays that are both prescriptive and inspirational, Brian McNaught leads readers through issues that they have to confront as they try to find a safe and meaningful place for themselves in what is often a hostile world."
What people are saying:
"Getting there may be half the battle, but until now no one had really addressed what we should do once we've arrived. McNaught, one of our most prominent sexuality educators, comes to our rescue with a practical primer that's both informative and fun to read." – The Advocate
"This is a heartwarming and life-affirming first-person account that will tempt you to sit back and enjoy being gay." – Gay Chicago Magazine
What if I have employees with religious differences?
What if I don't know the correct language?
What if it's an unwelcoming environment?
Brian McNaught, who the New York Times named "the godfather of gay sensitivity training," provides the "best practice" guidance you need to understand, and effectively respond to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) issues in your organization.
Why is it a business issue? What are the best words to use? What if I have an employee who refuses to got to training because of their religious beliefs?
McNaught synthesizes the most important information from his other resources, to give you a short, easy to read, time-tested handbook to address these issues. You get "dos and don'ts" on all of the key questions "What if my boss in unsupportive?" "What if our best client refuses to work with our LGBTQ employee?" "What if it's an LGBTQ employee who is using prohibited language?"
Brian McNaught has worked, over the past 40 years, with the senior leaders of several dozen major government institutions and corporations, and with the faculty, staff, and students at over 200 colleges and universities. He has been brought in by the NSA, Bell Labs, Microsoft, Eli Lilly, Chubb, Merck, Toronto Dominion Bank, Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, and scores of others, and has worked with audiences throughout the U.S., Canada, Britain, Australia, Singapore, Honk Kong, Japan and India.
He asks the questions, "What's your music? How do LGBTQ people know that you"re an ally?" "What are your Reese's Pieces? What are you doing proactively to help bridge the gap between organizational policy and organizational culture?"
Brian underscores that an employee can believe whatever they choose to believe about any moral issue, but they're not allowed to impose their beliefs on their coworkers. Feel your feelings but choose your behavior. If everyone is treated with professional respect, the work group can become a well-functioning team.
Are You Guys Brothers? (2008) Available at Author House
Same-sex intimacy, particularly between males, can be a challenge to maintain for gay and bisexual men, and extremely threatening to heterosexual men. Are You Guys Brothers?, a question asked of male couples throughout the world, is a very personal and candid look at the topic through the lens of an immensely happy and successful 32-year relationship. Brian McNaught and Ray Struble, both Irish Catholic, Midwestern children of seven, met in Boston in their twenties as one was beginning a career as a "gay activist" and the other was entering the world of commercial banking. Their love became the envy of their families and friends, marked by open communication, good humor, patience, and spirituality. They would need all four to navigate the mine-filled waters of childhood sexual abuse, alcoholism, intense religious and political opposition, dramatically-disparate incomes, a sexually-open relationship, aging, erectile dysfunction, and an often unsupportive and frequently dysfunctional gay community. Today, they are officially married, and the "gay activist" is now educating his spouse's former Wall Street colleagues on gay issues in offices around the world. This book is funny, deeply moving, and highly instructive, of particular interest to gay men and women who seek guidance in building and maintaining their relationships, and to heterosexual men and women worldwide who want to better understand not only gay people but also how to get past the roadblocks to intimacy in their own relationships.
Questions and Answers on:
"I like the title. Do you really get asked if you and Ray are brothers?"
We get asked if we're twins! Every gay and lesbian couple I know gets asked if they're siblings, even those that are interracial.
"...courageous and radically open"
"Sex Camp" is a lighthearted fictional story based on the very real Annual Workshop on Sexuality, the nationally-renowned training that has been held for nearly thirty years at an Episcopal Church-owned retreat facility in upstate New York. Led by a Baptist theologian and sexologist, and five others considered to be among the best sexuality educators in the country, the workshop is affectionately called "Sex Camp" by participants and staff alike.
The thirty-two strangers who arrive on Saturday are told that by the end of the week they'll know more about sex than ninety percent of the population. What they go home with on the following Saturday is a lot more than they anticipated or were promised.
Besides laughing, crying, swearing, and cheering through films and intimate discussions about sexual values, body image, 'self-pleasuring,' gender identity, sexual orientation, seduction, abuse, theology, and 'turn ons,' they faced off with each other around an altar in the woods, under blankets and star-filled skies, bareassed in the water, and with hands joined singing in a circle.
5 Questions about Sex Camp
1. WHAT IS IT?
"Sex Camp" is the fun and informative new book by Brian McNaught that could make you laugh, cry, sigh, scratch your head, turn the page, grumble, and learn lots of new things about your sexuality and that of others. Thirty-two strangers come together for an intensive week-long workshop on sexuality. Some of them are gay. Most of them are straight or bisexual. Some of them are transgender. Most of them are not. Some of them are religious. Some are angry at religion. Some of them have been abused sexually. Some of them like their bodies. Some of them have never sexually pleasured themselves. And some of them are uncomfortable talking about sex. They're being led through the week by a group of the best sex educators in the country, some of whom are gay, some of whom are transgender, some of whom are religious, some of whom are angry at religion, some of whom have been abused, most of whom like their bodies, but all of whom love to talk about sex.
2. WHO SHOULD READ IT?
"Sex Camp" is most appropriate for high school seniors and those older and was written for anyone who loves or wants to love their sexuality. You'll be asked to think about your sexual values, your body image, self-pleasuring, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, pleasuring others, lifestyles, abuse, disability, aging, and people who are different than you are. Bishop John Spong says it's for the "courageous and radically open." It's really for anyone who would like to enhance their attitude about and skills in sexuality.
3. IS IT FUNNY?
"Sex Camp" is funny at times. It's also sad, unsettling, joyful, whimsical, playful, insightful, and inspiring. The thirty-two strangers who come together for this amazing week represent a wide spectrum of the culture in their age, ethnicity, economic security, comfort with sex, experience of sex, and moral values. At "Sex Camp" they all tell their stories to each other, focusing on the four or five most important events in their lives that have influenced their sexuality, good or bad.
4. WILL I LEARN ANYTHING NEW?
"Sex Camp" helps the reader face the three obstacles to sexual health - ignorance, secrecy, and trauma, probes what keeps us from feeling comfortable with our bodies at the beach, regardless of how we look, explores the impact of abuse on our ability to be intimate, explains why some people born with a penis identify themselves as female, and vice versa, examines the experience of growing up with a secret attraction to others of the same gender, highlights the reasons many heterosexuals lose sexual excitement in their marriages and offers ways to bring it back, discusses the impact of aging on sexual pleasure and suggests options for mutual satisfaction, and faces head on the conflicts we often feel between what we feel morally and what we feel sexually. The participants are promised that by the end of the week, they'll know more about sex than ninety percent of the population. The same promise is made to readers of the book.
5. SHOULD I WAIT UNTIL THE MOVIE COMES OUT?
While there is some talk in the McNaught/Struble household of casting Tom Welling of Smallville as Brian in the film, you'd have to wait until Tom was Brian's age, which would be awhile. Better that you should find out now why "Sex Camp" was recommended for the "courageous and radically open."This is a paragraph. Double-click the text box and begin editing. Use the text editor to customize your text. It's that easy!
HIGH PRAISE FOR BRIAN MCNAUGHT'S "Sex Camp"
Ever aspire to be a gay activist? Curious to know what goes on in a sex workshop? Do you like romance? If so then Brian McNaught's hot-off-the-press and into-your-heart book "Sex Camp" is for you. Presented as fictional dialog between 32 participants at The (very real) Annual Workshop on Sexuality at Thornfield "Sex Camp" documents wide range of sexual health journeys. These thirty two adorable characters represent bits and pieces of 30 years worth of annual workshop participation - a great cross section of humanity - in relationships so very true. Like all of Brian McNaught writings "Sex Camp" is factual. And Brian gets the reader to identify personally with the characters so they reach right out and grab you into the book! As multiple stories unfold - and romance blossoms and blooms - we gain the same insights a real professional in the field of sexual health would have - an added bonus. "Sex Camp" is fun.
"I wish I had this book to give to my campers in 1971 instead of the deplorable but then popular Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But were Afraid To Ask. The world has made light years of progress thanks to Brian McNaught, The Thorfield Workshop, and books like "Sex Camp". Read this book and improve your life. – Mark Meehl - Camp Counselor '71, '75, '76
Most everyone goes home forever changed. That is, if they make it through the week.
The Annual Workshop on Sexuality at Thornfield was called "the world's best kept secret."
Now you're in on it.
"In his book "Sex Camp", Brian McNaught ventures into places where most people fear to tread. His searing honesty combines with an overt ability to pose issues about human sexuality that desperately need to be faced, lest we continue to violate those who do not fit our security boxes. I commend his work but only to those among us who are courageous and radically open." – Bishop John Shelby Spong
Author: Here I Stand! My Struggle for a Christianity of Integrity, Love and Equality
TRANSGENDER NEWS – Mary Ann Horton
Summer Camp was never like this. Until now. Brian McNaught has broken new ground with his new novel, "Sex Camp".
The author, Brian McNaught, is one of the best known sexuality educators in the US. He gives "Gay 101" training in Fortune 500 corporations and while he's expensive, he's worth every penny. I've had the opportunity to get to know Brian when he trained departments and employee resource groups at AT&T and Lucent. Over time, his GLB training has become an outstanding GLBT course.
Paperback (St. Martin's Press, 1993) Given by HRC to members of Congress
Gay Issues in the Workplace is the perfect book to give to a heterosexual colleague or manager at work. It is popularly used as a text for corporate diversity workshops and was distributed to members of Congress by the Human Rights Campaign.
"Clear, well-organized and straightforward, McNaught's book is an excellent resource. This is a book for gays to read and share with their colleagues and, when possible, their employers...a significant index of how lesbians and gay men are transforming society by being out in the workplace." - Genre
"In this clear, concise, and thoughtful book, corporate consultant and educator Brian McNaught shows business people and corporate managers how anti-gay bias impacts the entire work force and harms corporate productivity. McNaught presents a field-tested approach to coping with prejudice and eliminating destructive behaviors from the workplace.
Covered are such topics as:
What gay people need from their employers to feel safe and valued.
How to effectively educate heterosexual workers about gay issues.
How to respond to the concerns of religiously conservative employees and members of the public.
How to help gay employees trust the company's commitment to create a productive work environment for all workers." – (From the Book Cover)
What people are saying:
"Essential reading...a clear and comprehensive primer offering a sensible and sensitive guide."
– Ed Mickens, editor and publisher of Working It Out: The Newsletter For Gay And Lesbian Employment Issues
"Every manager and employee who takes our course...will receive a copy of this book. Brian McNaught has an incredible skill in helping people understand and respond to gay issues in a non-threatening way."– Sheila Landers, Personnel Services Manager at Lucent Technologies
"Straights and gays alike have something to learn from this concise, academic and human book. Historic facts and definitions provide a sound basis for understanding, and McNaught's anecdotal flourishes from work and family life bring the material well into the '90s. – Southern Voice
UNDERSTANDING AND MANAGING
GAY AND TRANSGENDER ISSUES IN THE WORKPLACE
GUIDELINES FOR TRAINERS from Brian McNaught
Since 1986, when I began training corporate and government leaders and employees on LGBTQ issues in the workplace, I received dozens of inquiries from people who also wanted to be a trainer on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer issues. Both Chubb and Merck brought me in to do a “train the trainer” with their employee resource groups (ERGs), and I provided the same training at “Sex Camp,” the Annual Workshop on Sexuality at Thornfield. I created these guidelines to help make the potential trainer optimally successful. I offer those time-tested guidelines here for your use.
Become Comfortable with All Aspects of Sexuality
* Read “Sex Camp.” It’s an excellent and easy-to-read primer, free on this site.
* What is your motivation for doing this work?
Create a Support Group
*It can be lonely work. It’s personally rewarding, but also exhausting, and you’re usually on your own. Create a support group of peers with whom you can share triumphs and disappointments.
Know Your Facts. Admit When You Don’t Know
*Familiarize yourself with sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, various religious perspectives, the opposition, the law, business trends, policies of other organizations.
Know Your Host
*Know the organization’s history, number of employees, ethnic and religious make-up, competition, history of diversity efforts in training policies, methods of settling disputes, union policies, history of LGBTQ-related problems, feelings of LGBTQ members on the work culture.
Know Your Goals
*What do you hope to achieve? What does your host hope to achieve? What is reasonable to expect?
Know Your Audience
*What’s their workload? How common is it for them to attend such presentations? What’s the profile of attendees? Are they engineers, P.R., H.R., Legal, white, Baptist, etc.? Will your audience vary from presentation to presentation?
Be Prepared and Don’t Panic
*Ask for what you want - an introduction by a senior manager, water, a wireless mic, name tags, easels, new markers, Power Point. Arrive early. Be prepared to set up the room. Anticipate the unexpected - plane delays, room changes, no lights, no sound, competing sound, no introduction, no attendees, late start, no hotel reservations, late ride to site.
Involve Local LGBTQ Employees
*Have them speak as part of the training/presentation. Give them guidance on how to achieve success, e.g., “Tell your story. Give personal perspective on environment. Give examples of unwelcoming words and behaviors. Tell colleagues how they can be supportive.”
*Don’t personalize negative comments. Learn from both positive and negative feedback.
Check Back In With Your Host
*Were they pleased with the results? Were their needs met?
TRANSITIONS: GENDER IDENTITY AND GENDER EXPRESSION
STONEWALL NATIONAL MUSEUM EXHIBITION ON GENDER
By Brian McNaught
Children’s stories tell us of ugly ducklings who finally come to understand that they're actually beautiful swans, and of frogs that are transformed into handsome princes through a loving kiss. In Walt Disney’s animated film, Mulan, the maiden dresses as a man to fight a war, and becomes one of China’s greatest heroes. Transgender people in our history and culture are those men and women among us who have discovered they are different from the norm, and who have learned to spread their wings more naturally, or who changed from one form to another because of the kiss of self‐love, or who have changed into the clothes of the other gender for any number of good reasons, including comfort, relaxation, income, inner peace, to wage war, and to escape danger, among others.
On Begin Gay and Gray available on Amazon
"How is growing old as gay any different than growing old as straight?" a good, old, straight friend asked me.
"In many wonderful, but also challenging ways," I replied.
We gay Baby Boomers are a most remarkable generation of seekers, survivors, and saviors. We have modeled the Hero’s Journey by coming out into a torrent of fire and brimstone, creating an immutable identity around what was considered a “lifestyle choice,” have endured on our own the ravages of epidemic sex-related death, faced down the Church and State to create loving, long-term relationships, redefined “family,” expanded our cause to include all sexual and gender minorities, and now face old age as the first group of homosexuals to do so defiantly out of the closet..."
Here's a very funny, inspired reflection by an Australian Labradoodle puppy on what he discovered about making life fun and meaningful. Lincoln has two cool dads in retirement who adopted him...
... Lincoln's humorous, insightful posts on Facebook drew a large following of fans who told him he made them laugh, think, and get through a tough day. "Why buy a mop if you don't play in the mud?" asks Lincoln. "Don't stare at the things that scare you. Chase a chipmunk." "Are immature adults allowed to watch programs intended for mature audiences only?"
There are important life lessons here, shared with wit and wisdom, by one of the country’s most respected and loved pioneering gay author, speaker, and mentor. Brian and Ray have been in love for 43 years. That love has endured some of the most challenging issues in life. Each time, with open communication, good humor, and loving kindness, their relationship endured.
The wise, old turtle, Mydas Tuttle, in his wonderful woodland classroom, explains the true meaning of "Friendship." Young Nate, and his Labradoodle dog, Lincoln, make new friends with the forest creatures, and learn important lessons about Caring, Sharing, Loyalty, and Forgiveness. The piglet twins, beaver, rabbit, skunk, and others, share stories that help the professor with his lesson. Everyone goes home, until they gather next time, with an appreciation of the treasure of having a very good friend. Author Brian McNaught, and illustrator, Dave Woodford, team up again for this third collaboration on original children's stories. Friendships, such as theirs, are essential human relationships, experienced first by children, that add to the quality of our lives. Some friendships are meant to be short in nature, and others last a lifetime. The quality of these relationships are consistently shown to impact our health and happiness no matter our age or where we live in the world. Teaching children the important components of a good friendship is a gift that will guide their joy for their entire lives. As Professor Tuttle explains, friendships are like gardens. They need attention. When properly managed, they provide an abundance of beauty and happiness. Oh, how much richer our lives could be if we entered friendships prepared to care for, share with, be loyal to, and forgive our friends, and to expect the same for ourselves.
"What's 'Gay'?" Asked May
Before the child hears, “That’s so gay!”, tell them its true, beautiful meaning.
Children often ask questions about sex that make many of us uncomfortable. And yet, they need age-appropriate, honest, meaningful answers. Brian McNaught has the perfect response to "What's 'Gay'?" Named the "godfather of gay diversity training" by the New York Times, Brian has traveled the world to answer such questions from adults who are asking for themselves, as much as for their children. In this book, his ninth on the subject, Brian provides a thoughtful, easy to understand answer to the often asked question, "What's 'Gay'?"...